Timely from the Top: An occasional column by Alice Ray
One of our staff told me her daughter told her that a teacher (an older woman) had given her the compliment
“You have nice legs.” It seemed weird. Why?
a) It crossed a boundary to an inappropriate level of intimacy.
b) It made no sense in terms of the educational mission.
c) It reinforced gender stereotypes (would she have commented on a boys legs?)
d) All of the above
The answer is d).
Educators are encouraged to be generous with praise. The goal is to shore up confidence so kids will do better in school. But attempts at compliments can backfire. They often fall flat. They occasionally insult. They sometimes lead to legal action.
Here are some things that can ensure your compliments work for you and your students, instead working against either of you.
- Make praise specific and behavior related, like “you did a great job on that test”, not “you’re a great person;” that’s not a judgment an educator can or should make.
- Never condition it on an ethnic, racial, religious, physical ability, or gender, stereotype. Not you throw good (for a girl). Not you’re really articulate (for an African American). Not you do a good job (for someone in a wheelchair).
- Never make judgments about body parts. Period.
Watch for Ripple Effects Pounce system to help you track commendable behavior, recognize it, and communicate it to parents.
Comments?
More Timely from the Top:
01/24/08 Does meditation belong in schools?
12/12/07 Drug data on parents and children.
What’s race got to do with it?
10/19/07 Birth control for 6th graders? Ripple Effects response
10/11/07 Fall out from school discipline... Two stories
09/25/07 In light of Jena
07/11/07 Alice Ray on Recent Supreme Court Ruling |
